If you found the previous article on signs that your partner has long-term potential helpful, here are five more signs that you should keep a look out for in your relationship, if you are trying to decide whether he’s right for you.
Consider it a “thumbs up” if:
He is Open to Growth and Change
Divorces can be deeply traumatic, even when both parties are ready for the end and wanting to split.
But if your partner is willing to learn from his experiences and move forward with greater awareness, it really demonstrates that he cares about self-improvement, growing as a person, and not making the same mistakes.
If he is willing to examine his own divorce and look for ways to grow and change from it, he’s likely going to be the kind of person who is committed to improving his relationships as well.
He Wants to Spend Time with Your Friends and Family
You might find that when dating a divorced dad, the time that you spend together will often be contingent on whether he has the kids that night, or what activity schedule they have. Or the time that you spend together will often be with his kids and his extended family, if you’ve met his family.
This man has limited free time. And you probably do, too, if you’re a working professional.
But if he wants to spend some of that free time getting to know your friends and family, and doing things that matter to you as well, then he is showing his commitment to making this an equal partnership where your needs are honored just as much as his.
Especially if you two have decided to see each other exclusively and have both agreed that this relationship will likely be long-term, meeting and spending time with each other’s friends and family is a very normal thing. And after the divorce wounds have healed, aiming for a sense of normalcy is healthy, and likely shows that he’s serious about having happy, healthy, secure relationships.
He Shows His Appreciation for You
The mistake that a lot of people make is to assume that romance and intimacy is something that happens organically; they think that it’s either there or it isn’t.
But I believe that if you want to keep the romance and intimacy alive, you have to make an effort to fan the flames or water the garden.
If you want a loving relationship, you have to be loving.
And it’s a good sign if your man is not passive in his relationship care and maintenance.
He values your presence in his life and doesn’t take you for granted.
He Wants to Know the Real You
This is a guy who values you, not only for how he feels when he’s with you, but also for who you are as well.
In other words, he’s not with you because you boost his self-esteem because you’re so hot looking, or because you’re rich, or because you’re amazing in the sack.
He’s with you because of who you are, and he wants to get to know who you are.
This is someone who takes the time to ask you questions and inquire about your life as well.
He might remember the tiny details you have shared with him, and genuinely care about hearing what you have to say on the subjects that are important to you (even if he doesn’t care about those particular subjects himself).
You Feel Safe with Him
This is the kind of relationship where you feel safe being who you are with your partner—Whether that means confiding in him about nearly everything, or just being your quirky self.
You don’t feel afraid to show him some of the more sensitive parts of your life, and you don’t spend nights worrying that he may not be as into you as you are into him.
This is the kind of relationship where you feel like he “gets” you. And even if he doesn’t “get” you, he loves and celebrates you anyway.
If you and your man truly connect and you feel capable and supported working through the additional challenges that might be presented by his previous divorce, then this relationship might have a really good chance of lasting and being a fulfilling relationship for you.
The key thing is to tune in to your experience of him.
And tune in to how you feel about that experience to get a sense of what feels right to you.
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