Are you in a relationship with a divorced or separated man?
Maybe he’s in the middle of a contentious divorce?
Or he’s navigating the challenges of becoming a single parent?
Or maybe he’s still healing from the failure of his marriage?
Or maybe your own past and fears are holding you back in your current relationship?
The truth is, we ALL have a past.
But how do you keep his past (and your past, too) from interfering with your relationship?
Download my FREE audio on:
Dealing with Relationship Baggage: Four Steps for Effectively Overcoming Baggage in Your Relationship so You Can Have the Relationship That You Truly Want!
In this free teleclass you’ll learn:
- How your past is a goldmine for discovering your vision, relationship requirements, needs, and wants
- How baggage is a source of strength as well as possible weakness
- The one most important key to dealing with baggage
- Four steps for dealing with baggage
Sign-up now to instant access to the free audio:
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Hi I’m living with a man who’s been divorced for a long time I’m with him almost two years I living with him now for six months how can I deal with his baggage of ex wife sometimes I think he still cares deeply for her still all the things he does for her she lives out of state with his kids and I know something’s are none of my business but I think they are very friendly to each other they talk about our realationship and hers with boyfriend she very jealous of our commitment cause her boyfriend of six years won’t comment to her so she tries to come between us which he does not see very blind to it its very hard to not have it bother me but he is a very nice kind hearted man maybe too much I was never an insecure person now living with him I am sometimes I feel like I’m the mistress I don’t expect him to ignore his ex she text all the time like his seventeen year old won’t clean his room she complains always I’m not sure if she is venting to him or her way to keep him in arm lengths and he always falls for it meanwhile she the one that cheated and screwed up his life kids were really young and I have know him since I was eighteen we dated for a long time and recently got back but this time we are older and with baggage I’m divorced but my ex I do not talk to was a abusive man my question how to deal with these feelings we have a great relationship not sure if it’s for me cause I feel his ex is his top priority and I’m just a girl living with him I have spoke to him about all stupid texting can you cut back he said she does not text that much which now he delete I know should not be looking on his phone but he said when she text he will text back nomader stupid or not how or what should I do I know he loves me I was his first real love twenty something years but how can I feel not insercure and try to give him time to try to change his ways I’m alway his first serious relationship in thirteen years what to do
How to approach and deal any suggestions
Hi Molly, Thanks so much for your comment. I hear your concern. It sounds like you’re worried that he might not be as committed to your relationship as you want him to be because you don’t feel like a priority in his life. I have some articles that might be helpful to you including Am I Insecure or Is This a Red Flag, What is Commitment in Dating and Relationships?, Is he ready for a relationship after divorce?, and Does he have too much baggage?.
If he’s not treating you the way that you want to be treated in this relationship, you have to make your concerns known to him (talk to him about it), and make requests about what you’d like to see changed in the relationship, and see if he is willing to problem-solve the issues. If he is willing to reform, the great! You have to decide how long you’re willing to wait for him to make progress on changes. But if he is not willing to problem-solve the issues with you, then you have to decide if this relationship is the right one for you. Having a great connection is different from being compatible long-term, there are other factors needed to grow a relationship successfully. I hope this helps provide some guidance!
All the best,
Melissa
Thank you I do talk to him said he going to change does not want to lose me but time will tell
You are so welcome, Molly. Hope it all works out!